When you’re in a jail cell as a man with another guy, with nothing around but concrete walls, it’s really easy to lose track of reality. Your imagination tends to take over your mind, and next thing you know, you forget what it was like to really be around people in society.

It’s actually really funny if you think about it.

Guys in jail workout a lot. I got pretty big in there sleeping a lot and then doing a lot of workouts.  Having a male cellmate sharing a room with you for weeks to months will also inevitably result into a conversation on women. For example:

“So what’s up dawg, you got a girlfriend out there?”


(awkward silence)


“Yeah, I have a few.”

“A few? Dang like that? That’s awesome.”

And then the conversation leads to discussing how to game women, how to talk to them, how to act with them, and a bunch of dating advice. It no longer becomes a jail cell but almost becomes Pimp Class 101, or some E harmony session. We start saying stuff like:

“Man once I’m out, I’ma go to the hottest girl and be like, hey girl, you lookin hella hot.”

Or something incredibly stupid like that.

And get this, when you’re in there, it actually seems like an amazing idea. You suddenly think it will actually work, and you’re wholly convinced that some super hot model will melt when you spray that crap at her. Moving on:

“Dude, I’m going to go around shirtless, girls are going to fall for me like crazy.” (poses in front of hazy jail mirror)

There are NO guys going around shirtless, and the ones that do look like complete idiots. Yet we think it works.

Okay so let’s say we come up with something decently reasonable. We practise how we’re going to approach a girl, have a little smirk, and have a little line like, “Hey, I think you’re kind of attractive, wanna go get some coffee sometime?”

You and the cellmate congratulate each other and compliment on each others player skills. It boosts both of your self esteems and makes you think you’re a true player. You lay down with a smug look thinking “Man I’m so badass. I’m a jail thug and I know how to manipulate and seduce women. Can’t wait to get out and throw that line around and truly become a ladies man.”


Once you’re out, and you see that one not even that pretty girl come up…

You freeze the heck up.


Your mouth snaps shut, you strike a cool pose (or one you think is cool), and just stare like a complete idiot. And when she walks by, you think “Well, next time.” And you take some stupid mental notes on what you could have done better, although you didn’t even so much as anything.)

All those lines you practiced in the cell? After a year of being out you haven’t used even one of them. Oh, and the only time you ever took off your shirt was before you hopped in the shower.

Hope you enjoyed this read.

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