I was walking my dog at night in a park, when I saw a ton of people, guys and girls playing volleyball on a court. Right as I walked past them, the lights to the court shut off, and someone yelled at me, “Nice man bun bro!”
Now, clearly this mans tone was expressing sarcasm with the intent to insult and ridicule. Now, coming from an environment where a shoutout like that would lead to an instant clash of fists and thumps, I did not know how to respond to the situation.
Part of me cried to ignore it, that it was just a stupid little comment that was not worth acknowledging. Then the mans ego of reputation and disgust, and the reminiscing of pathetic immature high school-like drama rising up brought upon me a wave of disgust and sudden anger. I suddenly wanted to whoop the guys ass.
Now for me, whooping someones ass is not just whooping someones ass. For me, it means getting in a whole lot of trouble with the record I have and my current situation. I was walking on eggshells without even having to have this kind of situation brought up.
Still, with a fury I wished to go to the group and roar at them and act all tough, challenge the individual to a scuffle.
It was so pathetic. Any one of them could have been armed, and with so many people I could have been terribly injured or worse. I had so many things in life going for me and I was willing to lose it all over one stupid little thing.
So then I decided to ponder a technique for evaluating similar situations in the future for my own record and safety.
I realized that in a sense the cat-caller was like a monkey in the trees throwing pineapples at me. I had no one with me, and in such a vulnerable situation it means I have nothing to throw back. All his friends were potential monkeys with pineapples, and I was just a human walking by unarmed. If one monkey threw pineapples at me and I did or said something stupid, then I’d just get a whole lot more pineapples thrown, and there’d be nothing I could do about it. It’d be a complete losing situation.
So here’s the evaluation technique to mentally follow before taking action.
- Can you whoop the guys ass? (Even though you won’t and don’t plan to, it’s still good to calculate the outcome)
- All of the people with them, can you whoop their ass too? (You’ll know how messed up you’ll get if you react confrontationally. It will also hopefully discourage you from taking action)
- Is the situation worth fighting over? (Many will say this should be first, but no I disagree. Knowing whether you can survive it to me is more important than if it’s worth pursuing)
- What will you lose if everything goes bad? (I could have lost my business, amazing friends, a spoiled lovely beautiful living situation, my passion, my job)
- Acknowledge whether you win a fight or not, you will likely lose all that you love, and your life will never be the same, as now you have enemies.
- If it’s not worth pursuing, start de-escalating techniques to calm you down.
Now that I am home after that close brush with stupidity, knowing that I was blessed nothing happened, I am now able to relax on my bed, eat great food, watch awesome videos, be in an amazing relationship, live an awesome life and pursue my dreams.
I could easily be in a smelly, gray, concrete jail cell with a drug addict…all because someone yelled about my Man Bun. My goodness!
Hope you guy’s found this helpful, comment, share, and give some advice. Thanks for reading!